Please Stand By - Experiencing Difficulties

Sheesh. I feel like I'm falling off the face of the planet, but it has just been me trying to come up with some energy to post. I just wanted to check in to say that I'm still here and actually have several things I want to post and even some decent updates - but no time/energy/etc to get it done.

I hope you will all hang in there just a day or two more with me while I get my rear in gear. I love and miss you guys!

Holly

UPDATE: Want a Chance to Win an iPod Shuffle?

UPDATE!!! I heard back from the consultant and the contest is open to all my friends in the U.S.!

So, in an effort to just get this message into the hands of my friends, this post is going to be incredibly brief. I was recently sent a nice email from a reader (a fellow 'Holly' no less) and a fellow Utahn. She works for a local brand consultant and they have a simple survey that takes a few minutes about a possible product.

So, if you want to spend a few minutes to be entered into a drawing for an iPod Shuffle and a couple of $25 VISA Gift Certificates, then just follow the link and go for it. Best of luck! You have until this Sunday night to enter.

CONTEST LINK

TWD: Applesauce Spice Bars

Tuesdays with Dorie is brought to us this week by Karen at Something Sweet by Karen. I made these bars last week to serve along with the Brownie Buttons at our open house. I wasn't there for the open house, but there were hardly any goodies left when we got home, so I'd say they were a hit.

The changes I made to the original recipe were fairly minimal - I browned the butter and used pecans. I also used a Fuji apple because it was what I had on hand, and left out the raisins because I didn't have any on hand. My toddler really loved these, but wasn't as big of a fan of the nuts in them. I would most likely made these again, but may try making them without the nuts and just add some more apple or something instead - or maybe cinnamon or toffee chips for something a little different!

All in all, we really enjoyed these (the glaze was of course the best part for me :)

Make sure to check the TWD blogroll for lots more apple-y goodness!

Not much of an update on the preggers front here at this point. Still sick, still tired. Still job searching and still being stressed out (but trying not to be). Anyway, I don't really want to dwell on it too much today, but I did want to say that I'm so grateful to you all for being here and for your support! I really hope to get a bit more back into the swing of things soon! I have several things that I've made when I've felt up to it that I want to share with you, so hopefully the energy to get the posts done and think of something even remotely inspired to say will start sparking in my brain soon.

Love you all! Thanks so much!!

TWD: Brownie Buttons

Well.... here it is, Wednesday afternoon and I'm finally posting my brownie buttons. They were the pick from Jayma at Two Scientists Experimenting in the Kitchen for this week's Tuesdays with Dorie.

I actually made these last year, but didn't take any pictures. We really liked them then and I actually thought they were even better this time. What's not to love about a little bite-sized chocolatey brownie frosted with a little white chocolate? I used my Wilton Brownie Bites pan to make these since one pan fit all the batter (still only made 16), which was easier for me to deal with than the mini muffin pans since I only have one pan. I skipped the zest this time, just because I didn't feel like dealing with it. I did it last year, and really liked the addition, I just didn't want the extra steps.

I made them again last night because I was serving them this morning at an open house our realtor held to show our home to other realtors in the area, and hopefully get some traffic for the listing.

We had already decided to list our house before all the recent craziness (granted, only by a day or so) but now it is really important that we sell and hopefully we will get an offer within the range that we need to be able to move before we are crushed by all our bills.

I haven't had any luck in the job searching department, mainly because I am too sick still with the pregnancy. I just got some new medication a few days ago that should help with the sickness, but unfortunately its main side effect is causing headaches. Bad news for me since, with my tension headaches and regular migraines, this means that I can either be sick from my stomach or I can be sick and down with a monster headache. Fun times people. Fun times.

The flip side of the job search is the fact that child care costs are so high there is no way I can work and pay for day care. It is an interesting conundrum. I applied for child care assistance from the state so that I could get a job, but I can't get assistance unless I already have the job. Catch 22.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank all of you that stopped by last week to offer well wishes and encouragement. I am trying to keep positive about things and try not to stress myself out more and make things worse. I am also trying to be optimistic. I'll have to keep you posted on how that is going. In the mean time, thank you, thank you, thank you - for coming here in the first place and for coming back! I am going to try to post a couple of times a week still and will most likely only keep up with TWD for now. Other than that, I don't know what I'll be doing. I just wanted to say thank you again and tell you all how much it means to me that you are here!

TWD: Banana Babycakes with Lemon Icing

Tuesdays with Dorie this week is brought to us by Mary, The Food Librarian, who chose the Classic Banana Bundt Cake. I was so happy when I saw this was her choice this week because I have been waiting, and waiting for someone to choose it! I made the bundt cake last year sometime and it was by far the best banana cake I've ever had. I loved the lemony icing on it as well.

This time I decided to make myself some banana babycakes and they were just as heavenly and good as I remember. This cake is moist, tender, light, fluffy and flavorful. It has a wonderful banana flavor and isn't too sweet. The tang of the lemon frosting is a really lovely accent.

As some of you already know, we have another reason around our house to think in baby sized portions - I am **surprise** pregnant again and expecting baby number 3. I'm due next March, which frankly, with my track record means who-in-the-heck-knows when I may have this baby. (Five days late the first time, 7 1/2 weeks early the second).

While we are both very happy about another addition to our family, it did come as quite a shock and surprise. We were 'preventing' another pregnancy and let's face it, I'm no fertile-myrtle (it took 2 years of trying to get pregnant with both other pregnancies). So, since I had my doctor's appointment to explore my permanent options all scheduled with my doctor, all we can think is that this was just meant to be and we have another little family member waiting to join us.

I won't lie and say that my initial reaction was positive. There. I said it. This is a very mixed up feeling. While this baby is very, very wanted... this pregnancy was not. I am sick. Ill. Exhausted. In short - a total train wreck. Sadly, this is the condition (only worsening) that I spend my entire pregnancies in. So, while most are giving us glad tidings, that was not my initial response. I absolutely freaked out. Complete and total panic. All I thought was - "I can't do this again!!" The thought of going through another pregnancy so sick, then having it end in another NICU experience due to HELLP's Syndrome (which I will more than likely have again) absolutely terrifies me. Completely. Most of the time I am keeping the panic in check... but not lately.

While I am trying to keep it together and keep life on an even keel, fate is not helping matters AT ALL. My short-lived zen was rudely destroyed this past Friday when I was also laid off from my job - basically the only job I had any hope of holding down (no pun with my sickness intended, but there you go) during this pregnancy and the long recovery that will come after it. (I was working from home doing marketing for a financial planning firm). Basically, the company I work for answers to another company above them who has decided to in effect create their own marketing department, tell the agents they must use that department, and therefore inadvertently obliterate my job. Awesome.

My point, my lovely friends is this. I don't know what the heck I'm going to do, but I'm not giving up on my happy place here. No matter what. I may not be posting as much since it is really tough to get in the kitchen right now, but I will be here as much as I can and don't want to lose this too. I may not be as happy or positive as I've tried hard to be in the past, but I don't think any of you will begrudge me that.

The outpouring of support I've received from this community already has been amazing and uplifting, so please, keep coming back. I love you all!